Work

Yes, boys and girls, Today's Distraction is an old-fashioned, punch-in-at-4 a.m.-punch-out-at-noon job. Which I am very grateful for. I'm filling in this week on the Bobby Mitchell Show with Chuck Gaidica on 104.3 WOMC (and thank God they don't make me say that whole title every time I do a traffic report) and I'm working with some lovely gentlemen and get to see some old friends and coworkers again so it's alllllllllll good.

I was going to say "however" but there really is no "however." Sure, my marathon training and my reality TV watching time have suffered, but so what? I'll find a way to work them back in. Other people do it, right? Maybe not at the same time. Maybe you CAN'T Keep Up With The Kardashians (I really only wrote that because of the alliteration, I would NEVER watch that show) and attempt to train for a marathon at the same time. Especially when you're (ahem) over 40. Maybe I won't be able to keep up my amazing ability to make dinner AND the next day's lunches AT THE SAME TIME. Maybe this job won't last longer than this week. Whatever happens, I'm good. Sure, I may be a little more sleepy and a little more flabby and not up to speed on which Housewife isn't speaking to the other Housewives but I'll bounce back. I'm still (ahem) young.

Though if you really want me to remember something make sure I write it down. Otherwise......gone.

The V-Chip I really need

Our TVs may or may not have V Chips. My preferred way of monitoring what my kids watch on TV is to make sure they're watching Nickelodeon (I'm trusting you, Nickelodeon! Don't let me down!) and reminding my son not to repeat the inappropriate words he hears on Family Guy.

I will admit to watching some pretty bad television myself: if I come across an America's Next Top Model marathon I can't seem to turn it off and I've lately gotten a wee bit addicted to The Millionaire Matchmaker so I get that TV watching is subjective, but at the risk of sounding judgemental....Jon and Kate? Really? Never got that. The Kardashians? Um, no.

So, this morning, when checking out one of my favorite parts of The Detroit Free Press, the Names & Faces column, I felt a little ill when I read these three headlines:

Kate Gosselin will be a contestant on the 10th season of “Dancing With the Stars”

E! has or­dered up a second season of “Kourtney and Khloe Take Mi­ami.”

Supermodel Kathy Ireland , People maga­zine editor-at-large Jess Cagle and “The View” cohost Sherri Shepherd will stalk the stars Sunday beginning at 5 p.m. for ABC’s “Oscars Red Carpet … 2010,” the preshow for the Academy Awards.

and I thought "Wouldn't it be great if I could program the V Chip to automatically get rid of shows featuring people I don't like?" but then I thought "Hey, I'm on TV and what if someone programmed their V Chip to turn off the TV every time I came on?!!!"

I clearly have no idea how the V Chip really works. And I'm sure some of you are thinking that I clearly have no idea how to parent, either, and that a woman who gets addicted to Millionaire Matchmaker and lets a 9-year old boy watch Family Guy shouldn't be reproducing AT ALL. Fine. But I still don't want to see Kathy Ireland try and talk.