Your bra is not a belt

Another troubling morning at the gym. I was on the treadmill and a woman got on an elliptical machine in front of me and she was wearing a white shirt that was VERY tight and pretty see-through so I could see that her bra strap was actually closer to her waist than her bust line and I thought to myself “How did she get her bra so low?” and then I realized that she was wearing one of those shirts with the bra built into it. But still. The bra strap was nowhere near her bust line; it was practically a belt. And for the rest of my time on the treadmill I couldn’t even get mad at Fox News (which I was forced to listen to because it was the only TV station that my CD player radio would pick up) because I couldn’t stop thinking about what the front of her must look like and if there was an excuse for me to get in front of her and turn around and see if the front of her bra was just as low as the back. But I couldn’t think of one. So now it’s 4 hours later and I can’t stop thinking about it. Next time something like this happens I’m just going to go stare openly at whatever/whomever it is because I know I’ll just spend the day obsessing and/or imagining all sorts of odd things and I’ve gotten no work done today because every time I try to think a picture of that bra-strap-belt pops into my head.

Treadmill etiquette

At my gym there are two longs lines of treadmills which were relatively open this morning. Odd, considering it’s only January 12 – don’t those gym resolutions usually start to peter out in February?

So, I’m walking and walking, with not a lot of company (not that I want any – I wear the mp3 player for a reason and will even leave it on when the battery dies, bobbing my head like I’m enjoying some tunes, to avoid conversation), when this guy gets on the treadmill right next to me! The whole rest of the row in that direction was empty – about 8 machines - and yet he chose to do his treadmilling about 14 inches away. Isn’t there an unwritten rule about applying movie theater seating to gym equipment? You know, if the theater isn’t crowded (and, actually, this rule is employed in theaters until it is just too crowded to use anymore) you leave the buffer seat between you and the person you sit next to. I, personally, believe all movie theater seats should be spaced about 4” apart because I’m tired of fighting cranky dads who are being forced to see Desperaux for the arm rest.

I’m just sayin’.