Speaking of ideas......and critics are born, not made

Right after I wrote my first children's book, The Fairy Painting, I wrote a chapter book called The Magic Waiting Room. I really like the story but, not having a boy who read at the time, I just couldn't get it right. My son is now 9 years old and is a great reader but is VERY picky about what he reads (it MUST be funny) so I got to thinking "maybe I can rewrite The Magic Waiting room so Son would like it AND get it out to a publisher" - thus killing two birds with one book. I picked up one of Son's favorite books - Diary of a Wimpy Kid - for inspiration then rewrote the beginning of MY book and gave it him to read. He read it, LAUGHED OUT LOUD, then said "That's pretty funny." But when I asked if he would like to read the rest of the story THIS is what I got:

"What's the title?"

"Who's the guy narrating it? What's his name?"

"Is the Magic Waiting Room a real place? Like, does it exist on earth?"

"Nah, I don't think so."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Reality Show Idea

Am I the only one dying to read the rant, I mean appeal, by Kwame lawyer Daniel Hajji? I love Hajji, he is my favorite new character on the reality show Living in Metro Detroit that I'm convinced is secretly being filmed. Think about it: "Let's take, oh, about 4 million people and close most of the companies they work at and put some really dishonest, sneaky people in charge and OH! make sure there's NO good public transportation. This should be awesome to watch!"

Why I love Twitter (and Facebook)

No one else in my house watches American Idol. I tried recruiting my daughter a few years ago and she was kinda into it but it didn't stick and I'm on my own. So THANK GOD for Twitter (connected to Facebook) which allows me to make snarky comments during the show and actually GET RESPONSES (and I am all about the responses. If a tree makes a snarky comment in the woods but no one hears it, is it really snarky?).

It's like watching the show with a bunch of my friends without having to shower and get dressed and put on makeup and bring a dish to pass. Not that I'm sitting around unwashed, in my robe, gnawing on a baguette. That's....um....someone else.

Have I mentioned that I love Ellen? Not like Portia does of course, but she is hilarious and brings a much-needed sense of levity to the show. That's a hard line to walk. All those poor singers are taking it SO seriously and Ryan gets paid to make it even MORE dramatic and the judges are trying to sound all knowledgeable and intelligent and Smarter Than Thou about people singing and Ellen somehow reminds us not to take it too seriously without bursting any one's ego too badly.

Except Simon looks pissed, doesn't he?

A short comment about Kwame

Here's a quote (from The Detroit Free Press) from Kwame's lawyer about his inability to pay:

“You can’t jail him for failing to pay restitution unless you find it is willful,” said Daniel Hajji, one of Kilpatrick’s law­yers. “But he’s making a good faith effort to pay what he owes.”

BUT, if he's paying for other things (multiple cars, plastic surgery, etc.) isn't he WILLFULLY not using that money to pay his restitution? I didn't go to Law School but this seems pretty obvious to me.

Any lawyers or law students care to enlighten me?

Update: Apparently the Judge agrees with me! I feel so smart!

Are my teeth as white as all this snow? They'd BETTER be!

Last Wednesday we flew down to visit my in-laws in Florida where it was 63 degrees and windy as hell on Thursday but we decide to go to the pool anyway because 63 is still warmer than 33 (which it was when we left) and we figured no one would ever know because who else is stupid enough to sit outside in 63 degree weather with the wind whipping off all the towels you've layered on top of you to keep warm and it turns out we could barely find chairs because everyone was at the pool and some people were even in it.

Bad Parenting Sidebar: My son was kinda driving us crazy so we forced him to get into the pool and "play" only his older sister was too smart to get into the frigid water with him so he had no one to "play" with and when I told him to say hi to some of the other kids (who all had chattering teeth) he yelled "Mom, you KNOW I don't like strangers!" which pretty much meant no one went near him for the rest of the afternoon. Then my husband - in an utterly brilliant move - told my son that if he swam three laps he wouldn't have to go to swim team practice on Saturday and my son fell for it even though we were still going to be in Florida on Saturday and he bragged all afternoon about how he got out of swim team practice. It was almost sad. But he did sleep well that night so I think the combination of frigid water and mandatory laps was good for him after all.

Then Friday I got a call for an audition on Monday and it involves toothpaste so I insist that we go to the beach on Saturday (even though our flight home is Saturday evening) when it finally got above 70 degrees so my teeth would look extra-white.

We also go to the beach for this.

Best. Pizza. Ever.

Best garlic bread ever, too.

I bleach my teeth on Sunday - just to be safe - and then the huge snowstorm hits and my audition is moved back a day. I planned to go into this audition looking like someone who doesn't even NEED toothpaste but my tan is fading and there's no way I'm not drinking coffee so as we're sitting and waiting for my son to finish his guitar lesson this afternoon my daughter looks at me and says "Are you even MORE tan?" And, yes, I did dig out a bottle of self-tanner just to keep the glow alive for tomorrow morning. Shoot me. I like to think they'll appreciate the extra effort.

Of course, since it's 1 a.m. and I'm still awake and have to get up at 6 a.m. to drive my daughter to her early morning skating team practice I'm really hoping that the whiteness of my teeth will distract whoever is casting this thing from the wrinkles and bags around my eyes.

Our apologies, this site is currently under construction

Pardon me while I OBSESS about my CAREER and do NOTHING ELSE until I either collapse in exhaustion or snap.

YES I AM STILL SICK, WHAT OF IT?!?!?

You know that point where you have been sick so long that you have worn out every one's sympathy and the only way you could possibly get any more is to go into a coma?

I'm there.

But I refuse to go into a coma so the rest of you will just have to continue to listen to my sniffling and froggy voice and pretend to feel sorry for me to my face then wait at least 20 minutes after I leave to talk about how I am milking this for all it is worth behind my back.

Thank you.