Monday, June 22, 2009
Also, there's never anything he wants. He buys himself whatever gadgets he's into, and his only hobbies are golf and rock concerts. He buys his own clothes and needs no help picking them out.
The real problem: he's SO much better at birthdays than I am. I've had surprise parties, trips, and gifts I didn't even know I wanted but were so perfectly me. HE is the one who plans the kids' parties - and they are always fabulous. He even gets the stuff for the goodie bags. He's thoughtful and detail-oriented and I'm.....about to go make a cake because that's all I can do. Did I mention our son has a swim meet tonite, so there won't even be a dinner out? Oh, and the cake is from a mix (and my daughter is making it). And none of us woke up this morning before he left for work so he had to open his two small presents alone in the kitchen.
Happy Crappy Birthday, hon!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I'm not sure that I'm "adding to the problem" by not praying for Monica, but I do believe that she is, indeed, in need of prayer. So let's all take a moment.....
Please help Monica Conyers realize that she is A) not above the law, B) not "chosen" by You to be on the Detroit City Council, and C) one of the worst examples of Public Servant that the City of Detroit has produced.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Conversation from two minutes ago:
Daughter: Mom, I can't make brownies. We don't have butter.
Me: Fiiiiiiiiiine. I'm going to the store in a minute to get butter.
Daughter: Can you just pick up some brownies while you're there?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Open Casting Call for ABC Bachelor Show: If you want to appear on ABC's next season of the Bachelor, either as the one lucky man or one of 25 lucky ladies, you're in luck.
First, I'd like to say "Thanks, God!" You're obviously a much better listener than I've been giving you credit for lately. Second, well, I'm pretty sure there's not enough spackle-like concealer and constricting/uplifting undergarments that could disguise me enough to even get in the door for this (Oh, and before I forget, I AM happily married, so I really don't need a Bachelor) but then I started thinking "How is it fair that only young, hot women get the opportunity to live in a fancy house with no responsibilities and (apparently) all the booze you can drink and go on incredibly lavish dates that involve adventure and fine dining?" So now I'm thinking I need to go to the audition as the Goofy Aunt character (like Lisa Kudrow's character's character in The Comeback) or as some sort of snide I-know-I'm-not-hot-but-honey-those-looks-won't-last-forever-is-THAT-what-you're-wearing-perhaps-you-should-consider-a-real-career bitchy old "bachelorette" who isn't trying to win but sabotages every one else because isn't that why we all watch in the first place and I could really use a vacation.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
So, how did they not make it into the chute which is pretty much right at hand level for my husband, especially since the door is ALREADY OPEN! There is absolutely NO work involved here.
OR - if my husband didn't drop his socks on the floor right in front of an open laundry chute (because that would be insane, right?) it looks like the socks tried to make it out of my bedroom, down the hall, and into the laundry chute on their own and, after struggling valiantly all night to FINALLY get the door open, collapsed from sheer exhaustion a mere three feet from their destination. It looks like the closer one died first and that the far one is still screaming in agony at the injustice of it all.