Saturday, February 27, 2010
"What's the title?"
"Who's the guy narrating it? What's his name?"
"Is the Magic Waiting Room a real place? Like, does it exist on earth?"
"Nah, I don't think so."
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
It's like watching the show with a bunch of my friends without having to shower and get dressed and put on makeup and bring a dish to pass. Not that I'm sitting around unwashed, in my robe, gnawing on a baguette. That's....um....someone else.
Have I mentioned that I love Ellen? Not like Portia does of course, but she is hilarious and brings a much-needed sense of levity to the show. That's a hard line to walk. All those poor singers are taking it SO seriously and Ryan gets paid to make it even MORE dramatic and the judges are trying to sound all knowledgeable and intelligent and Smarter Than Thou about people singing and Ellen somehow reminds us not to take it too seriously without bursting any one's ego too badly.
Except Simon looks pissed, doesn't he?
“You can’t jail him for failing to pay restitution unless you find it is willful,” said Daniel Hajji, one of Kilpatrick’s lawyers. “But he’s making a good faith effort to pay what he owes.”
BUT, if he's paying for other things (multiple cars, plastic surgery, etc.) isn't he WILLFULLY not using that money to pay his restitution? I didn't go to Law School but this seems pretty obvious to me.
Any lawyers or law students care to enlighten me?
Update: Apparently the Judge agrees with me! I feel so smart!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Bad Parenting Sidebar: My son was kinda driving us crazy so we forced him to get into the pool and "play" only his older sister was too smart to get into the frigid water with him so he had no one to "play" with and when I told him to say hi to some of the other kids (who all had chattering teeth) he yelled "Mom, you KNOW I don't like strangers!" which pretty much meant no one went near him for the rest of the afternoon. Then my husband - in an utterly brilliant move - told my son that if he swam three laps he wouldn't have to go to swim team practice on Saturday and my son fell for it even though we were still going to be in Florida on Saturday and he bragged all afternoon about how he got out of swim team practice. It was almost sad. But he did sleep well that night so I think the combination of frigid water and mandatory laps was good for him after all.
Then Friday I got a call for an audition on Monday and it involves toothpaste so I insist that we go to the beach on Saturday (even though our flight home is Saturday evening) when it finally got above 70 degrees so my teeth would look extra-white.
We also go to the beach for this.
Best. Pizza. Ever.
Best garlic bread ever, too.
I bleach my teeth on Sunday - just to be safe - and then the huge snowstorm hits and my audition is moved back a day. I planned to go into this audition looking like someone who doesn't even NEED toothpaste but my tan is fading and there's no way I'm not drinking coffee so as we're sitting and waiting for my son to finish his guitar lesson this afternoon my daughter looks at me and says "Are you even MORE tan?" And, yes, I did dig out a bottle of self-tanner just to keep the glow alive for tomorrow morning. Shoot me. I like to think they'll appreciate the extra effort.
Of course, since it's 1 a.m. and I'm still awake and have to get up at 6 a.m. to drive my daughter to her early morning skating team practice I'm really hoping that the whiteness of my teeth will distract whoever is casting this thing from the wrinkles and bags around my eyes.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
But I refuse to go into a coma so the rest of you will just have to continue to listen to my sniffling and froggy voice and pretend to feel sorry for me to my face then wait at least 20 minutes after I leave to talk about how I am milking this for all it is worth behind my back.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
So thank GOD for the snow day yesterday because my son would have showed up to the party without any valentines. Of course HE did not remind me about getting valentines. He constantly tells me "Mom, I just don't like love" and last year insisted on giving cards to only the girls in his class because "I don't want any boys to be my valentine." (I have to admit, I have no problem with that.)
This morning I glanced at the notice hanging on the bulletin board and realized that they would probably be having the pancake breakfast today because of the snow day yesterday and it suddenly hit me that I'd purchased nothing so I went into Uber-Mom mode and printed Happy Valentine's Day Your Friend, [Son] on clear address labels then wrapped each label around a Smarties package and Voila! instant Valentine that almost looks like he had them made that way just for his class!
Even while phlegmy I am incredibly resourceful.
I'm glad for the snow day and the chance to get about 12 hours of antibiotics into my system because if there had been school yesterday then he would have been the loser kid with no valentines to hand out.
Monday, February 8, 2010
I look bad. I sound bad. I'm just....disgusting. I hate February. And I'm not really buying the Chuck/Hannah relationship on Chuck. It's too contrived. And I find it really irritating. I may stop watching. Oh, who am I kidding...I'm not going to stop watching. I'm just going to complain about it. In a froggy-sounding voice.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Oh, and Ricola, you are on my list too because your "throat drops" are not nearly as soothing as you claim.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Speaking of screaming. While I was sitting in my car a Japanese woman came right up to my rear window and started waving her arm at my car and screaming at it in Japanese. I didn't know what to do. It's not like the parking lot was full and I was taking up valuable parking property, and she wasn't in her car anyway so she couldn't have been after my parking spot, but she kept waving and screaming and then I noticed that the rear hatch of the car across from mine (which looked similar but wasn't even close to the same color) was raising electronically and I realized that this woman was trying to open my rear hatch with her keys which was never going to happen because my rear hatch doesn't raise electronically (and this needs to be said....my rear hatch doesn't raise for just anyone).
After a few minutes and her friends laughing at her the woman finally realized that she was waving and screaming at the wrong car and I realized that I probably now know how to say "Open up you f**ker!" in Japanese.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Then I had to finish painting the bathroom. I painted the first coat Sunday evening (my radio partner, Chris Sunday Brunch 10-2 on WOMC 104.3!!, says that's why I got sick....because I did a radio show, then ran errands, then painted a bathroom on Sunday and I did too much. I think that makes me sound like some Victorian chick who ended up in the bed with the vapors after high tea AND a ball in the same day) and I had to lay in bed all day yesterday trying to recover surrounded by piles of stuff that should have been in the bathroom - so I couldn't even stumble around the bedroom safely - and the unfinished walls taunting me.
The bathroom is painted but now I DO feel like a Victorian woman with the vapors because I am EXHAUSTED. But do I have time to be exhausted? No.
Things I Need To Do But Probably Won't
Figure out how to really use the new toaster oven
Clean the house
Find pictures of my son because he is Star Student in his class this week
Clean up the painting stuff in the bathroom
Things I Don't Want To Do But Probably Should
Get copies of Son's comp sheet for his audition this afternoon
Clean up the painting stuff in the bathroom
Things I Want To Do But There Isn't Any Chocolate Cake In The House
Eat chocolate cake