Dear Levi's,
Please tell me that, no matter what my daughter says, you are not "mom jeans."
Love,
Stacey
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Showing posts with label low-slung jeans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label low-slung jeans. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
More Adventures in Shopping
(Note #1: I am not paid to endorse any of the mentioned stores.)
I'm pretty sure I have spent more time shopping in the last few weeks than I spent in all of 2008. This morning I took Son to camp then Daughter and I hit the mall for jeans (that she needs for school) and tennis shoes (because she has to babysit all weekend and I'm a Soft Touch.)
We started out at J.C. Penny because my daughter, the bargain shopper, found that they carried the exact shoes she wanted for $15 less than everyone else which would have been big kudos to you, J.C. Penny, if the shoes were actually available. Not only were they NOT in the store, but we had to wait through a tedious process of giving all our information and enduring the saleswoman training three other employees (not her fault, I know, but how about starting them off on an easier transaction?) only to find out at the end of the process that the shoes are on back order. The Very Nice Saleswoman said she was Going to the Back to find out when they would be available at which point I said we were Going to Finish our Shopping and would Check Back on our Way Out. (Note #2: Saleswoman bemoaned the store computer process which doesn't give out info until the very end of the transaction and was incredibly apologetic when the shoes weren't available AT ALL. (Note #3: Thus, my Tweet earlier in the day about J.C. Penny putting merchandise on their website that they CAN NOT sell you!))
Daughter went off to do her own thing and I searched out Sephora for makeup to hide the wrinkles. Sephora has the BEST customer service! I was offered all kinds of options, they tried all kinds of things to see which would work best, they sent me out into the mall with a mirror to really the check the results, and - most importantly - they did not Suck Up or Judge. I really don't need the "Oh My God you look great for your age but let's just head over to the Spackle aisle!" speech. (Note #4: Again)
Next, Pottery Barn. I love the Classic Pint glasses and, as my dishwasher goes on a killing spree once every few months, they are cheap enough to replenish without feeling guilty. At least they USED TO BE cheap enough. Today they were twice as much. $4 instead of $2. I bought them anyway and when I was unpacking them at home found that a few of them had $2 price tags on them. When I called the store the saleschick asked me for the number on the tag then said "When I, um, input that, um, number, it, like, rings up as $4. I guess you could, um, bring them in and my manager MAY give you a credit for the difference on those ones."
Seriously?
I am now researching new suppliers of pint glasses. Luckily Pottery Barn does not have the market cornered.
And then....the market. Which I will not name because I really like the manager. But I ran in there on the way home from an appointment because I wanted to make green beans for dinner but didn't have sunflower seeds and I guess I COULD make green beans without sunflower seeds but really like the combination and the store was right on my way home. So, I find the sunflower seeds, and a few more things, and wait in line and when I check out the clerk sees that the sunflower seeds have a sticker that says $3.49 but they rang up as $3.99 and she asks another (apparently more experienced) employee who does NOT say "Just ring them up as $3.49" but instead MAKES ME WAIT while she goes to check on the price.
Seriously.
And when she (finally) comes back and says that they are $3.49 the clerk (who I've been sympathetic to up until this point) rings up my order $3 short but instead of, perhaps, realizing that I've already spent twice the amount of time that it would normally take to purchase sunflower seeds and dried cranberries (an EXCELLENT combination, btw) she makes me RE-SWIPE my credit card to charge me the $3.
Needless to say, this market is now For Emergencies Only.
I'm pretty sure I have spent more time shopping in the last few weeks than I spent in all of 2008. This morning I took Son to camp then Daughter and I hit the mall for jeans (that she needs for school) and tennis shoes (because she has to babysit all weekend and I'm a Soft Touch.)
We started out at J.C. Penny because my daughter, the bargain shopper, found that they carried the exact shoes she wanted for $15 less than everyone else which would have been big kudos to you, J.C. Penny, if the shoes were actually available. Not only were they NOT in the store, but we had to wait through a tedious process of giving all our information and enduring the saleswoman training three other employees (not her fault, I know, but how about starting them off on an easier transaction?) only to find out at the end of the process that the shoes are on back order. The Very Nice Saleswoman said she was Going to the Back to find out when they would be available at which point I said we were Going to Finish our Shopping and would Check Back on our Way Out. (Note #2: Saleswoman bemoaned the store computer process which doesn't give out info until the very end of the transaction and was incredibly apologetic when the shoes weren't available AT ALL. (Note #3: Thus, my Tweet earlier in the day about J.C. Penny putting merchandise on their website that they CAN NOT sell you!))
Daughter went off to do her own thing and I searched out Sephora for makeup to hide the wrinkles. Sephora has the BEST customer service! I was offered all kinds of options, they tried all kinds of things to see which would work best, they sent me out into the mall with a mirror to really the check the results, and - most importantly - they did not Suck Up or Judge. I really don't need the "Oh My God you look great for your age but let's just head over to the Spackle aisle!" speech. (Note #4: Again)
Next, Pottery Barn. I love the Classic Pint glasses and, as my dishwasher goes on a killing spree once every few months, they are cheap enough to replenish without feeling guilty. At least they USED TO BE cheap enough. Today they were twice as much. $4 instead of $2. I bought them anyway and when I was unpacking them at home found that a few of them had $2 price tags on them. When I called the store the saleschick asked me for the number on the tag then said "When I, um, input that, um, number, it, like, rings up as $4. I guess you could, um, bring them in and my manager MAY give you a credit for the difference on those ones."
Seriously?
I am now researching new suppliers of pint glasses. Luckily Pottery Barn does not have the market cornered.
And then....the market. Which I will not name because I really like the manager. But I ran in there on the way home from an appointment because I wanted to make green beans for dinner but didn't have sunflower seeds and I guess I COULD make green beans without sunflower seeds but really like the combination and the store was right on my way home. So, I find the sunflower seeds, and a few more things, and wait in line and when I check out the clerk sees that the sunflower seeds have a sticker that says $3.49 but they rang up as $3.99 and she asks another (apparently more experienced) employee who does NOT say "Just ring them up as $3.49" but instead MAKES ME WAIT while she goes to check on the price.
Seriously.
And when she (finally) comes back and says that they are $3.49 the clerk (who I've been sympathetic to up until this point) rings up my order $3 short but instead of, perhaps, realizing that I've already spent twice the amount of time that it would normally take to purchase sunflower seeds and dried cranberries (an EXCELLENT combination, btw) she makes me RE-SWIPE my credit card to charge me the $3.
Needless to say, this market is now For Emergencies Only.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
People who don't know how to wear pants
I don’t dole out fashion advice very often, but can’t get rid of the replay of this scene in my head so I’m going to share…and dole. I was waiting in front of the ice rink for my daughter to come out of skating practice when a car pulled in front of me and a chunky teenage boy got out and opened the back to get his hockey equipment.
He appeared to be about 15 and was wearing a black hoodie, red boxers decorated with black and gray Christmas tree shapes and faded blue jeans held just below the middle of his ass by a black belt.
There are just so many things wrong. Where to begin. OK, Listen, chubby white boy, you might think your mother is an out-of-date nag who has nothing better to do than drive your fat butt to hockey practice but she probably knows the lesson that every woman has been learning since the dawn of time – DRESS FOR YOUR BODY TYPE! I know you know that your ensemble was totally not working because you kept pulling the black hoodie down to cover the ugliest-boxers-ever-made (a gift, really? She doesn’t like you) when you should have been pulling your pants UP! And the pants, well, they were wrong on so many levels. A: Wrong kind of faded. I’m not sure how to put this in words, exactly, but they were the faded jeans of a suburban kid who mows the lawn on Saturday and mumbles to himself about how unfair life is every time he walks the garbage to the curb then goes back in the house to play more Halo 3. They were NOT the faded jeans of a kid from the ‘hood who plays basketball every afternoon because he doesn’t want to go home and listen to the kids screaming in the apartment next door. B: The belt…I know I’m over 40 and I’m not “hip” to the fashion you kids are wearing but I thought that the whole jeans-hanging-on-my-ass look didn’t require a belt because it’s supposed to look like YOUR PANTS MIGHT FALL OFF AT ANY MINUTE! And wearing the black belt you borrowed from your dad or wore to your cousin’s wedding last wear with the one suit you own because your mom made you buy it totally clues everyone into the fact that you don’t trust your chunky butt to hold up those jeans.
OK, so I just googled images from the movie Clueless (which came out in 1995, are you SURE this look is still in style?) and the picture was too dark to really tell but the kid could have been wearing a belt with his low slung jeans. HIS belt looked like it was doing its very best to hold his jeans up where they are supposed to be but the combination of skinny butt, one-size-too-big jeans, and a heavy cell phone on one side were just too much for said belt so it gave up and thus – hanging pants. YOUR belt was holding your accurately-sized jeans tight around the fattest part of your ass so that fat squished out over AND beneath the belt. It looked like someone had put a belt on a baked potato and cinched it one notch too tight.
There’s probably no one else who will tell you this, so I’ll do it. You are a chubby white boy from Plymouth, MI not a homey chilaxin’ in your crib. Know who you are, embrace it. Trust me; you will be a lot more comfortable in life. And I won’t have to sit in the carpool lane fighting the urge to either lecture or de-pants you.
He appeared to be about 15 and was wearing a black hoodie, red boxers decorated with black and gray Christmas tree shapes and faded blue jeans held just below the middle of his ass by a black belt.
There are just so many things wrong. Where to begin. OK, Listen, chubby white boy, you might think your mother is an out-of-date nag who has nothing better to do than drive your fat butt to hockey practice but she probably knows the lesson that every woman has been learning since the dawn of time – DRESS FOR YOUR BODY TYPE! I know you know that your ensemble was totally not working because you kept pulling the black hoodie down to cover the ugliest-boxers-ever-made (a gift, really? She doesn’t like you) when you should have been pulling your pants UP! And the pants, well, they were wrong on so many levels. A: Wrong kind of faded. I’m not sure how to put this in words, exactly, but they were the faded jeans of a suburban kid who mows the lawn on Saturday and mumbles to himself about how unfair life is every time he walks the garbage to the curb then goes back in the house to play more Halo 3. They were NOT the faded jeans of a kid from the ‘hood who plays basketball every afternoon because he doesn’t want to go home and listen to the kids screaming in the apartment next door. B: The belt…I know I’m over 40 and I’m not “hip” to the fashion you kids are wearing but I thought that the whole jeans-hanging-on-my-ass look didn’t require a belt because it’s supposed to look like YOUR PANTS MIGHT FALL OFF AT ANY MINUTE! And wearing the black belt you borrowed from your dad or wore to your cousin’s wedding last wear with the one suit you own because your mom made you buy it totally clues everyone into the fact that you don’t trust your chunky butt to hold up those jeans.
OK, so I just googled images from the movie Clueless (which came out in 1995, are you SURE this look is still in style?) and the picture was too dark to really tell but the kid could have been wearing a belt with his low slung jeans. HIS belt looked like it was doing its very best to hold his jeans up where they are supposed to be but the combination of skinny butt, one-size-too-big jeans, and a heavy cell phone on one side were just too much for said belt so it gave up and thus – hanging pants. YOUR belt was holding your accurately-sized jeans tight around the fattest part of your ass so that fat squished out over AND beneath the belt. It looked like someone had put a belt on a baked potato and cinched it one notch too tight.
There’s probably no one else who will tell you this, so I’ll do it. You are a chubby white boy from Plymouth, MI not a homey chilaxin’ in your crib. Know who you are, embrace it. Trust me; you will be a lot more comfortable in life. And I won’t have to sit in the carpool lane fighting the urge to either lecture or de-pants you.
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