Depression and Gratitude

I don't like to admit this, but I have battled depression on and off - for most of my life, I think. I don't like to admit it because it makes me feel weak, but I don't think of anyone else who is dealing with depression as weak. I think that's how it gets you.

For whatever reasons, it's been a rough couple months. And nothing I've been doing has seemed to help. I'm not myself. I'm not my best self with the people who love me (and probably not for the people who listen either).

And I'm tired of not being my best self. Or even being a better self than I'm being right now.

Yesterday, I was checking Facebook and one of my friends had shared an article about how people who live with gratitude live longer. I clicked on the little thing that said Save For Later and of course I can't find it now. Frustrating.

But, I remembered the article when I got up this morning and decided to switch out the word "have" with "get" for the day. And to write down these switches so I wouldn't forget them.

Because, while I know that depression has nothing to do with will power or how strong of a person I am, I also know that the human brain is an amazing thing. I am going to force my brain to work for me instead of against me.

So when my alarm went off in the middle of the night I changed "I have to go to work" to "I get to go to work and talk on the radio."

And when I was getting frustrated because the web site wasn't cooperating while I was trying to write a post I changed "I have to write a post" to "I get to help my friends get the word out about the important work they are doing."

When I realized I hadn't talked to my dad in a good couple weeks I thought "I get to call my dad and talk to him whenever I want to." (I didn't call him today, though. Sorry Dad! I was running around all day. I promise to call tomorrow!)

I get to go work out with a personal trainer.

I get to help with costumes for the school musical.

I get to live long enough to start looking old.

I'm keeping this up. I feeling like it's helping already. Though the session with the trainer, Jaclyn, probably didn't hurt : )  Exercise is great for your brain.

And, please, if you EVER hear me say "I have to do" anything correct me and say "You GET to do that."

And to anyone else dealing with depression or the blues or just feeling down in the dumps, my thoughts are with you. Hang in there.

And if anyone knows how to find articles you have Saved For Later on Facebook, please email me!

sduford@cbs.com

Sore Muscles, Sore Foot - Will Paczki's Soothe My Pain?

Happy Paczki Day!

Today I am distracted by my sore muscles and sore foot.  I'll start with the muscles.  I have been working out once a week at RPM in Birmingham, my daughter and I worked out there together while she was home for the summer (it was a great bonding experience, I highly recommend it) and I kept it up after she left.  I swing kettle bells, do ball slams, and am working towards being able to dead lift 150 lbs. (Check out this article on the benefits of doing dead lifts).  My trainer, Jaclyn, got hit by the flu last week and I didn't have time to get in so I - foolishly - asked if I could work out with her Monday AND Tuesday this week.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

My arms and back are SO sore today I can barely open the door to the studio (it IS a really heavy door). I don't know how I'm going to live through another hour today. This could be my farewell blog post.  If so, thanks for everything.

Now for the foot.  I've had plantar fasciitis since June.  I've tried stretching, cold/heat, injections, etc.  I finally decided to get smart and am now visiting Blast Pain in Troy.  It no longer feels like I'm walking on needles, but some days feel better than others.  I'm not resting it like I should either (obviously).  I have finally stopped running. So that means any day now I'm going to have to stop eating.  It's going to be Fat Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday for me.

My Apologies To The Meter Reader

I ran home yesterday to fit in a workout before a busy afternoon. I decided I didn't have enough time (i.e. too lazy) to run so I decided to pull up a workout video from On Demand and work on my abs. I took off my clothes then thought "I'm in my bedroom. I'm home alone. Why bother putting on another set of clothes that I'm just going to have to take right off?" and proceeded to complete the 12-minute ab video in just my underwear.

It wasn't until I was halfway through the 18-minute kickboxing video that I looked outside and saw the woman with the clipboard in my backyard.

I'm going to choose to continue to believe that she didn't see me, that her eyebrows are naturally that high, and that her eyes are always that big.