Monday, June 27, 2011

Deadly Pistachios

We ended up in the ER last Thursday night after I made my son try pistachios for the first time. Apparently he is violently allergic. We now join other parents as the owners of no less than three Epi Pens and are now enrolled in Label Reading 101 and Remedial Foods That May Be Made With Or Contain Traces of Tree Nuts.

Most everyone I know is surprised that my son has made it to the age of 10 1/2 without us finding out about this allergy. I'm not at all. He's always been a VERY picky eater and, as he is the second child and life must go on, I am frequently the Bad Mom who just lets him get away with not eating something rather than sitting at the dinner table for another four hours (though, usually, not without first threatening to feed him whatever he is ignoring for breakfast). Also, I have never forgotten an incident from my childhood when my brother (who was - and still is - allergic to a LOT of stuff including pistachios how did I not know this?) was forced to eat fish - which he always avoided because he "didn't like it." My father and grandfather had fished all day and my mom and grandma had gutted and cooked all evening and the men insisted that my brother try the fish, which he tearfully did, and then I remember being woken up from my bed on the couch when my parents had to rush my wheezing, puking brother to the hospital.

I realize that some kids (mine) need to be coerced into trying new foods but I've also kept that story in the back of my head and if one of my kids really really doesn't want something I usually don't force it. I believe that kids (like animals in the wild) avoid foods that are naturally dangerous to them.

Now, in my defense, my son eats Nutella (made from hazelnuts) nearly every day, eats peanut butter, and occasionally eats almonds. So when I offered him the pistachios last week I had no idea that he would end up being so allergic. I had no idea that you could be allergic to some tree nuts and not others. I had no idea that I am such a bad mom.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Plan To Become The Most Hated Cub Scout Mom (If I'm Not Already)

After dinner last night I told my son to put his dishes in the dishwasher and he said "I was going to go get some cake." We still have leftover cake from my daughter's birthday in the fridge and I thought he would bring back the entire plate of cake, but no, he walked in carrying a fist full of cake which he then proceeded to shove in his mouth.

Now, I recently learned that my good friend Wendy, of Style Coach Studio, has become a Certified Etiquette Instructor so I announced at the table that I would be enlisting her services for a Cub Scout meeting in the fall because, really, most of those 10-year old boys could use someone telling them how to be a little more polite.

Or maybe it's just my kid. Maybe I'm the only mother with a kid shoving cake in his mouth. Perhaps not only the Cub Scouts will hate me, but their mothers as well.

Is there some kind of badge available for politeness? There should be.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Proof That My Husband And I Don't Need To Be In The Same Room Or Even On The Phone To Argue (An Email Exchange)

Me: That email address doesn't work.

Him: Well I can't help then.

Me: I found one, thanks. (The "thanks" is totally sarcastic)

Him: Are you sure your ok if beau & I go to fl. july 4 wkend? Just remembered anniversary.

Me: You JUST remembered our Anniversary? Of course I'm fine. Go. (Note: I did not even point out that I'm being a martyr here)

Him: I DID remember a towel for Beau today.

Me: That's MUCH more important than remembering our Anniversary. (More sarcasm) And I happen to know that Alicia left you a note re: the towel.

Him: Yeah, well.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Help Yourself To My Mantra

Having achieving the age of 40-ahem and hoping that I've learned something and tired of being at the mercy of my emotions when I get upset at things I can't control I have started to live by a new mantra: What should I be doing? If things aren't going right, or if I hit a roadblock, or if the world just seems to be saying No! I say "Fine, World, what should I be doing?" Because if I'm getting a face full of No! I obviously should be doing something different than what I am doing at the moment in time.

This has actually worked pretty well. I feel a little calmer, a little more in control. I have accepted that I am a hyper-control freak but am learning when to stop trying to hyper-control something and move on to hyper-control something else. That, my friends, is progress.

But lately I feel thwarted.

Thwarted isn't quite the same as No! Thwarted is "Sure, you can do this, but not like you hoped/planned/started" and I am starting to dislike Thwarted as much as I dislike No! Especially when everything is getting Thwarted all at once. And I don't know if I need to apply my mantra to being Thwarted. Or even if I can. Thwarted is not the same as No! It's just....irksome. And I don't like being irked.

If fact, maybe that will be my new mantra. I think I'll get it on a shirt.

Don't Irk Me.

Though Don't Irk Me Around has a better ring to it, no?