Got A Camera You Need Bumped Off?

My daughter has yet to meet a camera she can't break. I seem to recall her dropping the first one she owned and when I finally acquiesced and bought her a new one it refused to work as well, shoving a totally black screen in her face 75% of the times she turned it on even after we sent it in and had it repaired. On Sunday she got her Christmas present early - an iPhone (don't ask, it certainly wasn't my idea) - and by this morning the camera on the phone was refusing to open.

WTH?

I think I need to google How To Remove A Voodoo Hex Involving Girls And Cameras and get this settled once and for all. Unless one of you know knows how to remove a voodoo hex involving girls and cameras. If you do, I'd appreciate step-by-step directions. You can email me.

My iPhone is smarter than I am

Yes, I got an iPhone for Christmas. And I just discovered yesterday that I didn't have a voicemail mailbox anymore even though the nice people at AT&T (I am not contractually obligated by my iPhone purchase to state that, I'm just not taking any chances) transferred everything else from my old phone (including my photos, nice) and I just assumed that the voicemail mailbox would make it too but apparently, no, so how about a moment of silence for my voicemail mailbox.

I am a little scared of my iPhone because it knows how to do a lot of things that I don't. For instance, I have Sync in my car but could never figure out how to really hook it up to my old phone and had to manually do it every time I got in the car but the minute I got into the car with my iPhone it was like Sync and my iPhone were old friends being reunited and they started doing all kinds of stuff like downloading my mailbox without me. And I'm starting to get worried that one of these days I'll get in the car and my Sync and my iPhone will have decided that I need to go to Five Guys and I'll be like "But I'm vegan!" but they won't care and the doors will lock by themselves and they'll drive me there and somehow force me to eat a burger.

And you might think it's a little ridiculous for me to think that but yesterday, when I was re-setting up my voicemail account (and WHY is voicemail the ONE thing that doesn't make the cut?) the iPhone computer voice lady is telling me that I need to think of a password and then - even though she's a computer! - she actually waits while I'm thinking of a password and she waits so long that I start to wonder if I won't even need to type the password in and maybe she knows what I'm thinking!

P.S. My iPhone is in the kitchen right now so it won't see me typing this. But it probably knows. It knows everything.

P.S.S. Yes, I know I am spoiled. My children keep reminding me of all the "stuff" I have and how spoiled I am and it's true, I am just plain spoiled these days. I have no idea why. Though I would like them to leave the dishwasher off the list because, yes, I did want a new dishwasher and I AM the only one who uses it but that still doesn't make it a "gift."

Food, Glorious Food

Well, it's the first Monday of the New Year and you know what that means. It's time to diet. I mean, I'm not the only one who managed to pack on about 15 pounds between October 1st - when the Halloween candy comes out - and New Year's Day am I? Am I? Remember the Good Old Days when Fat Season was Thanksgiving through Christmas? How much damage can you do in four short weeks? But now, thanks to retailers who are putting out the Easter candy while the Christmas candy is still on sale (And NO I did not buy any sale Christmas candy OR Easter candy today though there were some Cadbury Mini Eggs calling my name by the 10 Items Or Less aisle) and how about a little DOWN time between the Holidays, people?

Is that too much to ask?

I'm a little cranky because it's my first day without sugar in quite. some. time. and because my sisters jumped on this mypersonalfitness.com site for their diets and I got an iPhone for Christmas and mypersonalfitness.com has an App and my phone is still new enough that I'm a sucker for anything with an App so I joined too and typed in all the food I ate today and, really, the "healthy" Nut Mix looks just as bad for me as the Kettle Brand Salt and Freshly Ground Pepper potato chips so why didn't I just have TWO servings of potato chips which is what I really wanted in the first place?

What the hell was I talking about again?

Oh yeah. I'm hungry.