Why did I laugh at the giant scary booger?

I have started to suspect that my family isn't normal. Today we all went to the movies, but Daughter and her Friend saw one movie, Husband saw another movie, and Son and I saw Shorts. We even drove two cars because Shorts started 25 minutes after Post Grad and I didn't feel like waiting around with an 8-year old who tries to make me discuss what Cheat Codes I would come up with for Final Destination (or whatever video game he's currently obsessed with) whenever we are alone but there is nothing else to distract us.

Yes, I'm a bad mother.

Shorts was just OK. Without giving too much away, one of the scenes involves a kid picking his nose and the booger growing ridiculously large and mean and attacking the kid and his friends. Here's the thing; the booger was too realistic. Even at its normal size. And then when it started growing...well, you couldn't help but laugh because you just knew where the movie was headed and it was so disgusting and even my son - who has never heard a fart joke he doesn't like - was saying "Sick!" while he was laughing and then made me cover his eyes because the giant booger was just that disgusting.

And I laughed. Though it did put my off my popcorn and Raisinets.

And then I remembered the "Booger wall sign" section of passiveaggressivenotes.com.

And now I can't stop thinking about boogers. Ugh.

Creeped out

Within the last week I have been shopping a few times with my daughter and have noticed a disturbing trend....men skulking around the women's departments. Perhaps this has been going on forever and I didn't notice until I had a pretty teenage girl with me but I still have not showered enough to get the "Ew" off of me.

On Saturday we visited DSW. My daughter and her friend hit the aisle with tennis shoes (thankfully) while I hit the high heels (that make you stand up straight while on camera). There were several men in the aisle with me, not only skulking ...but shopping! WTF! It was so disturbing I wanted to ask for a Fitting Room just to try on shoes. I couldn't help but eavesdrop when one of the Pervs got into a discussion with a female shopper about why he was there. Apparently he buys high heels on sale and takes them to women's shelters because "a good pair of shoes gives a women confidence."

I'm guessing that a confident woman in high heels also gives him a boner, but that's just a theory.

Today we shopped at TJ Maxx. I like a bargain as much as the next girl but from now on am willing to pay a little more to avoid Freaks loitering near the Fitting Room entrance. Especially since, no matter how long they "waited," no woman EVER came out to ask EVEN ONE of them "Honey, how do I look in this?" If all I'm overpaying for at the mall is a more competent voyeur, I really don't care. Being openly gaped at is a day-trasher.