I have started to suspect that my family isn't normal. Today we all went to the movies, but Daughter and her Friend saw one movie, Husband saw another movie, and Son and I saw Shorts. We even drove two cars because Shorts started 25 minutes after Post Grad and I didn't feel like waiting around with an 8-year old who tries to make me discuss what Cheat Codes I would come up with for Final Destination (or whatever video game he's currently obsessed with) whenever we are alone but there is nothing else to distract us.
Yes, I'm a bad mother.
Shorts was just OK. Without giving too much away, one of the scenes involves a kid picking his nose and the booger growing ridiculously large and mean and attacking the kid and his friends. Here's the thing; the booger was too realistic. Even at its normal size. And then when it started growing...well, you couldn't help but laugh because you just knew where the movie was headed and it was so disgusting and even my son - who has never heard a fart joke he doesn't like - was saying "Sick!" while he was laughing and then made me cover his eyes because the giant booger was just that disgusting.
And I laughed. Though it did put my off my popcorn and Raisinets.
And then I remembered the "Booger wall sign" section of passiveaggressivenotes.com.
And now I can't stop thinking about boogers. Ugh.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago