This Is The Problem With Generic Products - No Marketing (Updated)

Every time I see this picture on the package of generic sandwich bags I shudder because doesn't it look like the sandwich is trying to escape from death by suffocation? It's so disturbing. They may as well print "We Guarantee Your Sandwich Will Be Dead By Lunch Time" on the box. Or maybe that's inferred. Or maybe I accidentally bought Kevorkian-brand sandwich bags thinking they were generic. Either way, I've had this box for about two years now because I get so disturbed looking at the picture that after a few days I buy a new package of non-murderous sandwich bags and throw this package in the bottom drawer "for emergencies" and I'm obviously out of sandwich bags and don't want to go to the store today because it's cold AND it's supposed to snow some more but I'm going to have to go because if I have to open up the drawer and see that picture one more day I may get homicidal.

I did it. Went to the grocery store and stood in the Foils and Bags aisle whistling like an idiot waiting for it to clear out so I could take a picture of a happier package of plastic bags (which I DID purchase) and don't those Cheez-Its looks so happy and relaxed like "We're so happy, we can breeeeeeeathe! Look! Charlie's going for a ride! Whee! Wait a minute! Oh My God, Charlie! Charliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee! For the love of God someone's eaten Charlie!"

OK, so I guess there's not a happy ending for anything that ends up in a plastic sandwich bag, but I still don't need to see it telegraphed on the package.