I'm thinking of just moving into my Spam Box and living there for the rest of eternity. There are several displaced Royals that need me to help them move their money to a safe location and they are willing to pay me handsomely for my time and trouble, and I've been selected to receive a $5,000 U.S. Dollar Home Depot Gift Card! I know, right? People, I am rich in my Spam Box. And if I feel guilty for just taking money, there is a guaranteed 2% non -collateral loan available and shocking (SHOCKING!) work at home opportunities!
And there are plenty of ways to spend all this new-found wealth: 95% savings on brand name electronics, a printer ink sale, AND a pre-paid Visa Rushcard by Russell Simmons (Really?). Though, first, I should probably do that pesky account maintenance on the Chase account that I don't have and take a look at some of the photos of the "other" singles in my area so I have someone to take to dinner when I use my free Olive Garden gift card. Bottomless salad and bread sticks for everyone!!
On open letter to the lady in my neighborhood:
19 hours ago