Preparing to be robbed

There have been some daytime home invasions in our area, and one even occurred right around the corner so, of course, I am planning my Getting Robbed Strategy.

Apparently the robbers show up, 4 in a car, and knock on the door of a house they think is empty. If someone answers the door they act like they got the wrong address or something. If no one is home they go around back and break in. And they only take the good stuff – costume jewelry and cheap watches have been left behind.

My original plan, should I hear my doorbell ring and then noise coming from the back of the house, was to grab the phone and run into the bathroom which is so small that if I open a drawer it jams the door shut. But now I’ve heard that they are cutting phone lines! So I have to remember to keep my cell phone with me at all times.

Police cars have been cruising through my subdivision lately and I am on Full Alert which, for a paranoid, imaginative person like me, is extremely detrimental to get anything accomplished. I spring into a crouched position at any sound and so far this morning that has included

A) Snow and ice falling off the roof

B) The garbage truck

C) The humidifier making a gurgling noise, and

D) One of those strange “signing on” sounds on AOL.

I am tempted to call 911 on my cell phone to make sure they know my home address when I call from that number, but think that may be going a bit too far.

I’m also tempted to keep a frying pan, or some other heavy item, in my bathroom because if they somehow get the door open I can stand on the counter and bonk someone over the head as they try to enter. I’m thinking a cast iron skillet would probably work best but I don’t own one and don’t want to explain to my husband (who already thinks I’m nuts) why I bought a brand new skillet for the master bathroom.

Sure wish they’d catch them so I can relax.