Thief!

Two weeks ago I lost my gym bag. I have absolutely no idea how, or where. I've retraced my steps, I've checked the lost and found of every establishment I visited, I've looked in every stupid place in my house where I may have put it in a totally distracted moment. Even the freezer. I finally acknowledge that it is gone. This is very hard for me. I've had the padlock with the green face for nearly 20 years. There is a still a membership card in one of the pockets for a health club I haven't been a member of since 2004. And I don't lose things. I have sunglasses older than my children. I've had my keyring forever. I. Don't. Lose. Things.

But apparently it's really gone. HERE is a note to the person who found it and decided to keep it:

Dear Thief,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a new bag with an mp3 player, but here's a few things you don't know. The combination. And I'm not telling. And the mp3 player - no music, just self-help books and novels loaded on it, ha! And the bag....well, my sticky-fingered friend, the bag is nearly 14 years old and was my diaper bag. Yes, a diaper bag! You don't have the cords to charge or download anything onto my relatively cheap mp3 player (and the volume sucks, btw, good luck with that) and you are carrying around a DIAPER BAG!!!!!!

Bet you're not feeling quite so cool now.