I have spent the last few months secretly believing that my new moisturizer is kick ass and that 45 is the new 35 on me because everywhere I go guys are looking at me. I know it sounds vain and at first I thought I was imagining it, but then it kept happening and for a while I got really paranoid and then I went through a Do-I-Have-Something-On-My-Face-Or-What? phase before I decided I was just working it but then, waiting in line at airport security on Tuesday morning, I finally added 1 + 1 + 1 and got 3.
1. I am the host/interviewer in the Belle Tire commercials on TV.
2. Belle Tire advertises pretty much constantly during sporting events on TV.
3. Men watch sporting events on TV.
Yes, it finally dawned on me that these guys weren't checking me out or thinking I'm hot... they're just wondering why the hell I look so familiar.
Yes. I do feel foolish. Thanks for asking.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago