I almost ran over a deer on the road tonight for the THIRD time this year! Was on my way to pick up Daughter from skating carpool and a deer was just meandering through the street – la-de-da. I think it was saying la-de-da, but I did have the radio turned up pretty loud. There’s a pack of deer (is pack the correct term? Is it herd, pride, sorority?) that lives in my subdivision and I have run into them several times while out walking. They are not afraid of humans and, in fact, will stop and stare at me like I’M the anomaly. “Look, Deer, a human! What is she doing out of her natural habitat? I wonder how she survives out here?”
I am still angry about the deer eating my tulips. I have tulips in my front yard (that I stole from my old house when we moved here) and every year I take a picture of my kids sitting on the big rock with the tulips in the foreground. As we drove home one night in May Daughter commented that we needed to take the tulip pictures. When I went out to get the paper the next morning, all the heads of my tulips were missing! The stems and leaves were still there….and there were hoof prints in the yard. I did some googling and found out that tulips are like ice cream for deer. Like my front yard is a Ben & Jerry’s!
I have been anti-deer ever since, and their road antics aren’t helping their cause any. So listen, Bambi, don’t make me pull out my bow and arrows (and the trophy I won for archery in 4-H in the third grade!). This doesn’t have to get nasty. Go in peace. And stay away.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago