Yesterday I found myself behind the Mr. Handyman van and now I can't stop wondering....
Why is the guy who is coming to fix my shelves so dressed up?
Look at him. At first I just noticed the top hat, but then I realized that he is also sporting a cummerbund and bow tie. I don't know what to make of this. Should I be wearing a ball gown when Mr. Handyman arrives at the door? Must I serve champagne? What if the broken shelf is just for my trashy paperbacks - not even the hardcovers? Is that beneath him? Will he only tighten gold-plated faucet handles?
Is this logo really working for them? In the movies when you see a guy in a tuxedo and some kind of weapon he's either a spy or a bad guy. When I see this I think Mr. Handyman is either going to kill me or tap my phone.
And if he's so good, why can't he fix that tilty H?
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago