It's 90-something degrees outside and I'm on the second day of a garage sale (don't ask) and have to run to Target for a REQUIRED black sports bra for my daughter (again, don't ask). Thankfully there is a Starbucks in this Target. Is there anything more civilized? All I need is some caffeine, sugar, and ice cubes mixed together and a straw. But it's never that easy, is it?
"What size fat-o-chino did you order, again?"
I'm practically a frizzy puddle and she wants me to remember what fake size drink I ordered? I can barely read the menu because it's so humid that my eyeballs have fogged up. I haven't been through the TRAINING and I am not fluent in this made up language.
I just want something COLD!
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago