Wednesday, January 27, 2010

WTF is a veiled cloche?

First I'd like to apologize to all 15 of my readers for not posting more regularly. Yes, I did just start a new job and it sounds all fancy and busy to say that but, really, I'm working from 10-2 on Sundays yet that somehow does manage to force me to play catch up for the rest of the week. It's like all my productivity has formerly happened from 10-2 on Sundays and now that that time has been claimed I now have to somehow complete that Sunday 10-2 work in the hours between Monday and Friday and it takes all frickin' week to do it. (Yes, I just let you know that I don't do anything on Saturday. Pleh.)

Anyway, this morning I was once again deleting spam from one of my AOL email accounts (Yes, I still use AOL and yet I am not a grandma. Go figure. And yes AOL spam filters are not that effective) and I delete one that says How To Wear Sweatpants in Public but then the curiosity drives me crazy and I have to go into Recently Deleted Mail and Restore it because since I turned 40 I have been experiencing issues with my waistbands and who wouldn't want to fashionably wear sweatpants in public if it, indeed, can be done.

It can't.

Here's what the email said....

Comfort aside, sweats have suddenly emerged as a fashion do. However, there are rules to follow. We snagged a couple of pairs of Fruit of the Loom men's fleece sweatpants in black and gray and uncovered the fabulous ways of wearing sweatpants in public. Here's how to wear sweats with...

Then there was a slide show with pictures of all the different ways to "dress up" sweatpants and even where you could get the accessories to complete the look! Most of the "ensembles" simply fell under the category of Lame. Until this...

This is Julie. I'm going to assume that Julie was well-compensated for her day of modeling because it makes me feel better about this outfit. That's the only thing that makes me feel better about this outfit. From the bad necklace to the ridiculously large and poorly placed sweatpant cord that seems to be resembling a fake penis to the shoes....this outfit just screams "I need to rethink this whole "model" career path!"

While looking at the picture I couldn't stop thinking "The necklace? Really?" and "How the hell could she ride that bike in those shoes? For one thing they are too big! And wouldn't that heel get caught in the pedal? Or the spokes?"

Then there was this....

Becca gets extra points for looking just as confused and pissed off as she must have been when told she would be modeling sweatpants with granny boots while sitting on a fake antique chest. I just have to include the site description for this photo:

Dainty Details:
Sweat suits hit their peak in the 1970s but you can give them a romantic 1870s feel with lace-up
boots, delicate chains, and a velvet blazer. Add a veiled cloche for an even more vintage feel.

I swear I am not trying to make up for not blogging in a while with an ultra-long post but "Dainty Details"??? WTF???? And I totally had to google "veiled cloche" in case it was another piece of furniture that one would be forced to have on them at all times to make the "vintage sweatpants" outfit really work but turns out it's just a hat.

Good night everyone.

No comments: