Thank you for getting a puppy

My daughter and I are both suffering from Tiny Dog Fever. We are dying for a small dog we can transfer from purse to purse and dress up in ridiculous outfits. Whenever we see a small dog we have to alert the other:

"TINY DOG! TINY DOG"

"TINY DOG IN A PINK SWEATER!"

"CURIOUS TINY DOG IN A SWEATER THAT WON'T KEEP WALKING BECAUSE IT FOUND SOMETHING SMELLY ON THE SIDEWALK!"

My husband is totally against dogs, even other people's dogs. I'm guessing there's some traumatic crotch-sniffing incident from his youth. And while I want a dog in theory, I do realize that getting a dog is like having another baby who remains a toddler forever and I'd like to thank all the people in my life who have suddenly gotten puppies (and there seem to be a lot of you, hmmm) and are sharing all kinds of stories of being up all night and being dragged outside at all hours and, basically, looking like hell while you talk about your beloved new puppy. You're like puppy birth-control; thank you.