Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Monica Conyers to the rescue

Thanks Monica!

Just when we thought there was no one to replace Kwame in the misbehavin’ department you come through for us. We should have seen your potential, it’s been in front of us all along. The bar fight, the hotel fight, the Council meeting fights, threatening other Board members, and the meeting where you obviously downed about 40 pixie sticks before you got there and called Ken Cockrel “Shrek.” Seriously, we applaud you.

Then you pull off the mystery surgery and missed meetings (while still managing to attend a party in your honor – BRILLIANT!) all while taking home $81,000 of the taxpayers money and driving a city-owned Ford Crown Victoria while most of the city residents are riding the bus. It’s like you attended Kwame’s Boot Camp on How To Pretend You’re A Public Servant While Milking It For Everything It’s Worth and you were the top student! Congrats! I suspect that when you are not fulfilling the duties of your “part-time” job you are taking applications to fill out your entourage and secretly planning to fire someone who has dared to cross you.

I will admit that as hard as I have tried to create a buzz about what I’ve been up to (mostly to sell copies of my children’s book The Fairy Painting ) I have never been hounded by the media, so I really don’t know what that’s like, but storming out of the elevator shouting “You are all evil!” before anyone even ASKS YOU A QUESTION is a little over the top. Let them piss you off first, then come out swinging. Better yet, get a body guard to slam Steve Wilson against a wall; that HAD to have been covered at Boot Camp.

And I am totally in awe of how you managed to interrupt city business to whine about the reporters following you around – that is really top-notch It’s All About Me behavior. And really, why ARE they following you around? Don’t they know that who you scream at on Detroit city time is your own business?

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