Today is a frenzy of distractions – those Republicans at their convention and the Mayor’s streaming-video-play-along-at-home removal hearing - I hardly know where to begin. But there is something I can’t get out of my head – of course. It’s a quote from Mitt Romney, the President wannabe then Vice President wannabe who apparently thinks that Sarah Palin’s past as an “outdoorswoman” will help the McCain campaign here in Michigan.
Romney said “Anyone who has hunted moose will attract a lot of good hunters.”
Perhaps Mitt Romney HAS been hunting and perhaps the hunters he hung out with were the kind that ENJOYED sitting in the woods and farting with women instead of making them stay back at the cabin and whip up a big meal from the previous day’s bounty but I am the daughter of a hunter and every hunter I have ever met or been related to has insisted that women aren’t allowed in the woods because they talk too much.
And Sarah looks chatty.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she chats about VERY IMPORTANT THINGS but I really can’t see her sitting silently in the woods until a moose gets within range and then slowly and carefully taking aim and firing. I imagine it goes a little like this:
Sarah: Gabe, about that proposal, I am not at all happy with ….
Gabe: Sarah, uh, moose.
Sarah: We have got to get rid of that last section or it’s never going to get passed and I think…
Gabe: SARAH! MOOSE!
Then she whips up her gun, quickly fires – dangerously close to Gabe’s head – and the moose falls and she resumes her conversation.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago