Friday, September 5, 2008

Sure she runs, bikes, and swims but her real skill is ...

J. Lo never disappoints, does she? First there was the comment overheard on the set of Good Morning America in August along the lines of “Why is everyone talking about that swimmer? I’M doing a triathlon six months after giving birth; I’m the real athlete here.” THAT SWIMMER being Michael Phelps, of course, who one wishes would slap her around with one of his giant fin-like feet.

Her latest is from an interview in Elle Magazine. She is discussing her pregnancy (didn’t you hear? Jennifer Lopez is the FIRST WOMAN to ever give birth to twins!).

"We came off tour and I said 'I did the Superwoman thing, I finished the tour—now I need you to take care of me. I love doing things for you; if I'm not cooking, then I'm picking out a shirt. But this is the first time in my life where I'm just going to be a little bit selfish.’”

One would hope that she’s speaking to her husband here and not one of her many assistants, though I find it difficult to imagine her picking out her assistants’ clothing. Wait. I actually don’t have a hard time imagining that at all, I’m sure there’s some sort of uniform involved in working for Ms. Lopez. Perhaps her old costume from Maid in Manhattan. But the thing that really gets me is the line:

But this is the first time in my life where I’m going to be a little bit selfish.

I guess that’s compared to the ASTRONOMICALLY SELFISH state she usually resides in. That many rumors about food demands and making hotel staff cry can’t all be fiction or jealousy.

And here’s another thing. I came across a video with some guy interviewing Jen and the trainer from Self Magazine who helped her whip herself into shape (6 months after giving birth!! Don’t forget!) and the guy asked about her babies and she said, “I hated to leave them this morning.”

Is she taking those twins along on training swims, runs and bike rides? ‘Cuz if she’s not then she’s leaving them EVERY FRICKIN’ DAY. And we all know that she fired her nanny so who is watching those kids (who surely must be starting to crawl by now) while she’s out on her 2 to 3 hour training sessions? Is Marc Anthony sitting in a La-Z-Boy wearing headphones turned up to 11 to drown out the wailing sound from the two babes stuck in the playpen?

I think she needs to hire one more assistant whose job is to simply help Jen keep her stories straight. Or not say stupid stuff to reporters.

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