The main road near my house has four lanes heading north and four heading south with a median for turnaround lanes. On the other side of this road sits a large synagogue which I usually don’t notice. Today, however, it was causing all kinds of problems. Not the synagogue itself, rather the people trying to leave it after Rosh Hashanah services.
Cars were whipping out of the drive into the middle and far lanes then jumping into the turnaround forcing other drivers to brake and/or swerve or die. I have never seen such cranky, ill-tempered driving; it seemed like the cars themselves were scowling. And what the hell is that about? Did these people Shalom their way through a service just to hit the road and start flipping each other off?
Having married a Jewish man who now practices the religions of Commerce and Atheism, I had to look up the details of Rosh Hashanah. Does this holiday now come with a caveat? “Happy New Year once you get the f**k out of my way!” According to Wikipedia (OK, maybe not the BEST source) the people are being judged by God for the whole next year today. That would make ME want to be a little kinder with my merging.
The entry does say that the wicked are “blotted out of the book of the living” so perhaps these folks were the bad drivers as they already have nothing to lose. But do you KNOW if you are blotted out? Is there a list posted in the foyer like athletes cut from a team? And if you’re seriously THISCLOSE to being blotted out, would you really bother to go to services in the first place?
All I know is next time someone says “Happy New Year” to me today I’m going to say “Stay off The Road to you too.”
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
1 day ago