Just when you thought TV couldn't get any worse

So I’m totally watching crappy Saturday-afternoon-TV --which is either some kind of heavily edited teen movie with hosts showing you deleted scenes or dressing up some poor sap to look like the main character and/or reruns of America’s Next Top Model (today’s decadence: Cycle 9 with the gorgeous autistic girl. Don’t yell at ME, they’re the ones who keep bringing it up) and up pops a commercial for Paris Hilton’s latest violation of television. A reality show where she is searching for a new BFF, because there aren’t enough fawning, sycophantic, kiss-ass losers in her life already. The commercial showed the prospective BFF’s (whose mothers must be SO proud, btw) reading their letters to Paris about why THEY should get to be considered for becoming the new BFF.

They were CRYING!

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m getting so emotional,” said one girl as she tried to read her letter out loud. I’m hoping her tears were an indication that somewhere deep inside a part of her realized that she was humiliating herself in the most disgusting way imaginable and wanted out, out, out. But I doubt it.

I know Paris isn’t the first person to have a reality show where a houseful of people debase themselves in order to be the LAST person tossed aside like a used Kleenex by a c-list celebrity, but seriously, can we stop with this? Rock of Love, I Love New York, that show with the guy with the big clock and the horns – aren’t there already enough ways to embarrass yourself on television if you really really have to?

I’m tempted to post a listing for an audition for just such a reality show on Craig’s List, rent out some kind of huge freakin’ ballroom, and when all the losers show up to audition I will lock them inside the room and force them to listen to a 6-hour lecture from Dr. Phil.

Now THAT would be worth watching.